250 Holiday Quotes: Best Heartwarming Lines for Every Season

A holiday is simply a day set apart for joy, and every culture marks those days with words worth repeating. Below you will find seven themed sections: the magic of the season, giving, togetherness, peace, gratitude, songs and screen lines, and a few funny ones to keep things light.

Whether you are writing cards, planning a toast, or posting a picture, there is a line here waiting for its moment. Browse the sections, copy your favorites, and share the spirit.

The Magic of the Holiday Spirit

The season has a feeling all its own. These holiday quotes bottle that magic — the lights, the music, the childlike wonder.

1. “I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time.” — Fred, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
2. “The only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely.” — Fred, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
3. “And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!” — Fred, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
4. “I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.” — Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
5. “I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse.” — Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
6. “Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!” — Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
7. “Christmas is the day that holds all time together.” — Alexander Smith
8. “Bah! Humbug!” — Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
9. “Christmas isn’t just a day, it’s a frame of mind.” — Kris Kringle, Miracle on 34th Street
10. “Christmas a humbug, uncle! You don’t mean that, I am sure?” — Fred, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
11. “There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say, Christmas among the rest.” — Charles Dickens
12. “I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.” — Jacob Marley, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
13. “I am here tonight to warn you, that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate.” — Jacob Marley, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
14. “Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” — Mary Ellen Chase
15. “You will be haunted by Three Spirits.” — Jacob Marley, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
16. “Expect the first tomorrow, when the bell tolls One.” — Jacob Marley, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
17. “Come in! Come in! and know me better, man!” — The Ghost of Christmas Present, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
18. “Christmas is a piece of one’s home that one carries in one’s heart.” — Freya Stark
19. “This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.” — Taylor Caldwell
20. “Christmas — that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance.” — Augusten Burroughs
21. “I am the Ghost of Christmas Present. Look upon me!” — A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
22. “These are the shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me!” — The Ghost of Christmas Past, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
23. “A positive light appeared to issue from Fezziwig’s calves. They shone in every part of the dance.” — Charles Dickens
24. “Christmas now surrounds us, happiness is everywhere. Our hands are busy with many tasks as carols fill the air.” — Shirley Temple
25. “He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil.” — Ebenezer Scrooge on Mr. Fezziwig, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
26. “The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.” — Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
27. “The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
28. “In came Mrs. Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile.” — Charles Dickens
29. “Now Christmas is come, let us beat up the drum, and call all our neighbors together.” — Washington Irving
30. “A Christmas gambol oft could cheer the poor man’s heart through half the year.” — Walter Scott
31. “Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart.” — The Conductor, The Polar Express
32. “Heap on the wood! The wind is chill, but let it whistle as it will, we’ll keep our Christmas merry still.” — Walter Scott
33. “One thing about trains: It doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get on.” — The Conductor, The Polar Express
34. “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.” — Phillips Brooks
35. “Where charity stands watching, and faith holds wide the door, the dark night wakes, the glory breaks, and Christmas comes once more.” — Phillips Brooks
36. “Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing.” — Judy the Elf, The Santa Clause

Giving and Generosity

Generosity is the heartbeat of every holiday. These lines celebrate giving in all its forms.

1. “We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers.” — Seneca
2. “It is another’s fault if he be ungrateful, but it is mine if I do not give.” — Seneca
3. “The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving.” — Albert Einstein
4. “You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
5. “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” — Edward Everett Hale
6. “The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.” — Pierre Corneille
7. “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” — Mother Teresa
8. “A kind word is like a spring day.” — Russian proverb
9. “We rise by lifting others.” — Robert Ingersoll
10. “If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
11. “To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love.” — Oscar Wilde
12. “True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
13. “Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice which make philanthropy necessary.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
14. “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” — Unknown
15. “An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
16. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Mead
17. “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” — John Bunyan
18. “Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.” — J.L.W. Brooks
19. “My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” — Bob Hope
20. “Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won’t make it ‘white’.” — Bing Crosby
21. “If you haven’t any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.” — Bob Hope
22. “The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” — William James
23. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” — Acts 20:35
24. “Just as one candle lights another and can light thousands of other candles, so one heart illuminates another heart and can illuminate thousands of other hearts.” — Leo Tolstoy
25. “The hand that gives, gathers.” — English proverb
26. “Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” — Galatians 6:9, The Bible
27. “As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” — Galatians 6:10, The Bible
28. “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” — Hebrews 13:2, The Bible
29. “He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the Lord; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.” — Proverbs 19:17, The Bible
30. “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” — Proverbs 11:25, The Bible
31. “Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.” — Proverbs 3:27, The Bible
32. “Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.” — Matthew 5:42, The Bible
33. “It is the personal thoughtfulness, the warm human awareness, the reaching out of the heart to one’s fellow men that gives joy and meaning to the holidays.” — Isabel Currier
34. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” — 2 Corinthians 9:7, The Bible
35. “Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” — 1 Timothy 6:18, The Bible
36. “A true selfless act always sparks another.” — Jesper, Klaus

Family, Friends and Togetherness

Holidays are people. These holiday quotes are for the family and friends who make the season.

1. “Family is the anchor that holds us through life’s storms.” — Unknown
2. “A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.” — George A. Moore
3. “The family is the cornerstone of our society.” — Unknown
4. “The love of home is one of the finest instincts.” — Unknown
5. “The family is the nucleus of civilization.” — Will Durant
6. “Family is a gift that lasts forever.” — Unknown
7. “Charity begins at home.” — English proverb
8. “Cherish your human connections — your relationships with friends and family.” — Barbara Bush
9. “You are born into your family and your family is born into you. No returns. No exchanges.” — Elizabeth Berg
10. “The greatest gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you.” — Kendall Hailey
11. “Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold.” — André Maurois
12. “Family is the most important thing in the world.” — Princess Diana
13. “I sustain myself with the love of family.” — Maya Angelou
14. “Holidays — any holiday — are such a great opportunity to focus on bringing the family together.” — Lidia Bastianich
15. “May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility.” — Mary Anne Radmacher
16. “Home is a shelter from storms — all sorts of storms.” — William J. Bennett
17. “Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.” — John Ed Pearce
18. “Home is the nicest word there is.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder
19. “Home, the spot of earth supremely blest, a dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest.” — Robert Montgomery
20. “He is the happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
21. “A poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket every twenty-fifth of December!” — Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
22. “A friend is a gift you give yourself.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
23. “Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” — Woodrow Wilson
24. “I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.” — Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Christmas
25. “My friends are my estate.” — Emily Dickinson
26. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” — Oprah Winfrey
27. “A toast to my big brother George: the richest man in town.” — Harry Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
28. “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” — Elbert Hubbard
29. “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.” — Arnold H. Glasow
30. “Teacher says, ‘Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.'” — Zuzu Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
31. “Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!” — George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
32. “I want to live again! Please, God, let me live again.” — George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
33. “If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.” — Henry Ford
34. “To me, you are perfect, and my wasted heart will love you.” — Mark, Love Actually
35. “The most important thing in the world is family and love.” — John Wooden
36. “Christmas is all around me, and so the feeling grows.” — Billy Mack, Love Actually

Peace, Hope and Light

Every holiday tradition carries a wish for peace. These quotes hold that hope up to the light.

1. “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God.” — Luke 2:13
2. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.” — John 3:16
3. “The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.” — Psalm 29:11
4. “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.” — John 16:33
5. “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” — Romans 12:18, The Bible
6. “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” — Romans 12:21, The Bible
7. “Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” — Psalm 85:10, The Bible
8. “And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.” — Isaiah 32:17, The Bible
9. “The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.” — John 1:9, The Bible
10. “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus.” — Matthew 1:21
11. “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace.” — Isaiah 52:7, The Bible
12. “For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing.” — Isaiah 55:12, The Bible
13. “Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.” — Isaiah 60:1
14. “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” — John 8:12, The Bible
15. “A little bit of light dispels a lot of darkness.” — Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi
16. “Better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.” — Chinese proverb
17. “And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.” — Genesis 1:3, The Bible
18. “For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.” — Psalm 36:9, The Bible
19. “Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart.” — Psalm 97:11, The Bible
20. “O send out thy light and thy truth: let them lead me; let them bring me unto thy holy hill.” — Psalm 43:3, The Bible
21. “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.” — Mark 9:23
22. “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” — Proverbs 15:1
23. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour be put away from you.” — Ephesians 4:31
24. “With God all things are possible.” — Matthew 19:26
25. “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him.” — Psalm 37:7
26. “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.” — Ephesians 6:10
27. “Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.” — Ecclesiastes 7:3
28. “The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” — Deuteronomy 33:27
29. “In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.” — Isaiah 30:15
30. “Hope is the only universal liar who never loses his reputation for veracity.” — Robert Green Ingersoll
31. “When the world says, ‘Give up,’ hope whispers, ‘Try it one more time.'” — Unknown
32. “Ring out the old, ring in the new, ring, happy bells, across the snow.” — Alfred Lord Tennyson
33. “Peace is its own reward.” — Mahatma Gandhi
34. “If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” — Mahatma Gandhi
35. “No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” — Hal Borland
36. “If you want peace, work for justice.” — Pope Paul VI

Gratitude and Blessings

Thankfulness turns a good season into a great one. These holiday quotes count the blessings.

1. “O give thanks unto the Lord; call upon his name.” — Psalm 105:1
2. “Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.” — Psalm 100:2
3. “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.” — Psalm 100:1-2, The Bible
4. “Pray without ceasing.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:17
5. “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.” — Philippians 4:4
6. “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.” — Colossians 3:17, The Bible
7. “And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” — Colossians 3:14
8. “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” — Philippians 1:3, The Bible
9. “God loveth a cheerful giver.” — 2 Corinthians 9:7
10. “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” — 1 Corinthians 15:57, The Bible
11. “I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” — Psalm 34:1, The Bible
12. “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.” — Psalm 34:3, The Bible
13. “The angel of the Lord encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.” — Psalm 34:7
14. “Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” — Psalm 103:1-2, The Bible
15. “Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies.” — Psalm 103:4, The Bible
16. “As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.” — Psalm 103:12, The Bible
17. “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.” — Psalm 103:13, The Bible
18. “Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.” — Psalm 150:1, The Bible
19. “Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.” — Psalm 150:6, The Bible
20. “Sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praise upon the harp unto our God.” — Psalm 147:7, The Bible
21. “Gratitude is the music of the heart, and every time we thank someone, the melody grows sweeter.” — Unknown
22. “The way to change others’ minds is with affection, and not anger.” — Dalai Lama
23. “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.” — William Arthur Ward
24. “I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful.” — Willie Nelson
25. “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” — William James
26. “Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” — Robert Brault
27. “Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.” — Brené Brown
28. “There is no joy without gratitude.” — Brené Brown
29. “Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” — Rumi
30. “Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky
31. “The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky
32. “Beauty will save the world.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky
33. “To love someone means to see them as God intended them.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky
34. “Boredom: the desire for desires.” — Leo Tolstoy
35. “True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” — Leo Tolstoy
36. “Patience is the companion of wisdom.” — Saint Augustine

Holiday Songs and Screen Lines

Some holiday quotes were made to be sung. Here are the lyrics and screen lines everyone knows by heart.

1. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know. May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white.” — Irving Berlin
2. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.” — Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane
3. “What a bright time, it’s the right time, to rock the night away. Jingle bell time is a swell time, to go glidin’ in a one-horse sleigh.” — Joe Beal and Jim Boothe
4. “Through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow; hang a shining star upon the highest bough.” — Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane
5. “Rockin’ around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop. Mistletoe hung where you can see, every couple tries to stop.” — Johnny Marks
6. “The sun is shining, the grass is green, the orange and palm trees sway. There’s never been such a day in Beverly Hills, L.A. But it’s December the twenty-fourth, and I am longing to be up north.” — Irving Berlin
7. “Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, o’er the fields we go, laughing all the way.” — James Lord Pierpont
8. “Bells on bobtail ring, making spirits bright; what fun it is to laugh and sing a sleighing song tonight.” — James Lord Pierpont
9. “Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland.” — Felix Bernard and Richard Bernhard Smith
10. “To face unafraid, the plans that we’ve made, walking in a winter wonderland.” — Felix Bernard and Richard Bernhard Smith
11. “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, and folks dressed up like Eskimos.” — Mel Tormé and Robert Wells
12. “And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go.” — Meredith Willson
13. “All I want for Christmas is you. I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need.” — Mariah Carey and Walter Afanasieff
14. “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special.” — George Michael
15. “And so this is Christmas, and what have you done? Another year over, and a new one just begun. A very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. Let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear.” — John Lennon and Yoko Ono
16. “And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom. Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you.” — Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, Band Aid
17. “He’s making a list, and checking it twice; gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. Santa Claus is coming to town.” — Haven Gillespie and J. Fred Coots
18. “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake; he knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.” — Haven Gillespie and J. Fred Coots
19. “Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows.” — Johnny Marks
20. “All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names; they never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.” — Johnny Marks
21. “Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul, with a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal.” — Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins
22. “Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white. What a laugh it would have been, if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.” — Tommy Connor
23. “Up on the housetop, reindeer pause, out jumps good old Santa Claus. Down through the chimney with lots of toys, all for the little ones’ Christmas joys.” — Benjamin Hanby
24. “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch, you really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch.” — Dr. Seuss and Albert Hague
25. “Happy holiday, happy holiday, while the merry bells keep ringing; may the calendar keep bringing happy holidays to you.” — Irving Berlin
26. “Frosted window panes, candles gleaming inside, painted candy canes on the tree; Santa’s on his way, he’s filled his sleigh with things, things for you and for me.” — Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne
27. “It’s a marshmallow world in the winter, when the snow comes to cover the ground; it’s the time for play, it’s a whipped cream day, I wait for it the whole year round.” — Carl Sigman and Peter DeRose
28. “I really can’t stay — Baby, it’s cold outside. I’ve got to go away — Baby, it’s cold outside.” — Frank Loesser
29. “No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses, I only like hippopotamuses, and hippopotamuses like me too.” — John Rox
30. “Christmas, Christmas time is near, time for toys and time for cheer; we’ve been good, but we can’t last, hurry Christmas, hurry fast.” — Ross Bagdasarian
31. “Silver bells, silver bells, it’s Christmas time in the city. Ring-a-ling, hear them ring, soon it will be Christmas day.” — Jay Livingston and Ray Evans
32. “Merry Christmas, darling, we’re apart, that’s true. But I can dream, and in my dreams I’m Christmasing with you.” — Frank Pooler and Richard Carpenter
33. “Do you hear what I hear? Said the night wind to the little lamb: ‘Do you see what I see? A star, a star, dancing in the night, with a tail as big as a kite.'” — Noël Regney and Gloria Shayne
34. “I have no gift to bring, that’s fit to give a king. Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum, on my drum?” — Katherine Kennicott Davis

Funny Holiday Lines

Every celebration needs laughter. These funny lines keep the holidays merry and bright.

1. “I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.” — Buddy, Elf
2. “Santa’s coming! I know him! I know him!” — Buddy, Elf
3. “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” — Buddy the Elf, Elf
4. “You sit on a throne of lies.” — Buddy, Elf
5. “Francisco! That’s fun to say! Francisco!” — Buddy, Elf
6. “Bye, buddy. Hope you find your dad.” — Mr. Narwhal, Elf
7. “I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.” — Buddy, Elf
8. “This is extremely important. Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back?” — Kevin, Home Alone
9. “I’m gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!” — Kevin, Home Alone
10. “Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.” — Kevin, Home Alone
11. “I made my family disappear.” — Kevin, Home Alone
12. “Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.” — Zuzu Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
13. “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” — A Christmas Story
14. “Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian!” — Old Man Parker, A Christmas Story
15. “Oh, fudge! Only I didn’t say ‘fudge.’ I said the word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!” — Ralphie, A Christmas Story
16. “Put the cookie down! Now!” — Howard Langston, Jingle All the Way
17. “It’s Turbo time!” — Howard Langston, Jingle All the Way
18. “Now I have a machine gun. Ho-ho-ho.” — John McClane, Die Hard
19. “We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel-drive sleigh.” — Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation
20. “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas.” — Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation
21. “The little lights are not twinkling, Clark.” — Ellen Griswold, Christmas Vacation
22. “It’s not going in our yard, Russ. It’s going in our living room.” — Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation
23. “Is your house on fire, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany, Christmas Vacation
24. “Grace? She passed away thirty years ago!” — Uncle Lewis, Christmas Vacation
25. “If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.” — Uncle Lewis, Christmas Vacation
26. “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold, Christmas Vacation
27. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis, Christmas Vacation
28. “If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.” — Clark Griswold, Christmas Vacation
29. “The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” — Johnny Carson
30. “Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want — and their kids pay for it.” — Richard Lederer
31. “I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.” — Henny Youngman
32. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” — Phyllis Diller
33. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick — even when you’re home.” — Carol Nelson
34. “From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.” — Katharine Whitehorn
35. “The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” — Joan Rivers
36. “Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog.” — Erma Bombeck

Editor’s Picks

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a good short holiday quote?

A short favorite from these holiday quotes is “Peace is its own reward.” by Mahatma Gandhi — it fits a card, a toast, or a caption in just five words.

Which holidays are covered in this collection?

The collection spans Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year, Thanksgiving and generic seasonal celebrations, so there is something for every tradition.

Can I share these holiday quotes on cards and social media?

Yes. Every line is attributed to its author or source, and the picture cards are made for sharing — just keep the attribution with the quote.

What is the difference between holiday quotes and Christmas quotes?

Christmas quotes focus on one holiday, while holiday quotes cover every celebration of the season — Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year and all the days in between.

More to Explore

If you enjoyed these holiday quotes, keep browsing — there is a whole library of seasonal words waiting.

• Christmas quotes for the merriest season
• heartfelt Christmas wishes for cards and texts
• family quotes about love and togetherness
• friendship quotes to share with your closest people
• funny quotes to make everyone laugh
• gratitude quotes for a thankful heart
• hope quotes to light up dark days
• kindness quotes that inspire generosity
• faith quotes for strength and belief
• New Year wishes for fresh beginnings
• Thanksgiving quotes for the harvest table
• New Year quotes to welcome January